The decisions that need to be made in a divorce have far-reaching consequences, not just for the parties but for their entire family. The outcome of a divorce can impact both childhood and old age, two of the most vulnerable times in life. Leaving the resolution of those decisions for a judge to determine is risky on many levels and extremely expensive, not to mention stressful.

Many people in these situations are also contending with intense emotions, conflict, and sometimes, feelings of hopelessness for an amicable solution. It may seem like battling it out in a courtroom is their best chance at having their voice heard and reaching a solution that will end what feels like war.

Sometimes negotiating between lawyers can be the most efficient way to reach a resolution, but not everyone can afford a lawyer. And sometimes people (or their attorneys) get stuck and need a third party to help generate new ideas for resolution. A mediator can help parties, with or without lawyers, get “unstuck” and bring creative solutions to the negotiating table.

What is Mediation?

Mediation puts people in control in a way that court proceedings cannot. 

Mediation is a process by which a third party, the mediator, assists in negotiating a mutually acceptable solution to the conflict. Mediators do not act as judges, deciding on solutions for the parties. Rather, they bring parties together in a calm, constructive way, framing issues quickly and helping them move down a path toward resolution. 

Mediation is a tried and tested method to resolve differences while maintaining everyone’s dignity and keeping costs to a minimum. Mediators act independently and do not represent either party or give legal advice. Because they are not on anyone’s team, they have the freedom to generate potential solutions that center resolution, rather than the interests of one party. Family law mediation can help resolve custody, divorce, dissolutions of non-marital partnerships, and prenuptial or partnership matters.   

In mediation, the parties are at the center of the process, and no one is subject to a judge’s ruling on the family situation that the parties know best. With family law mediation, each party has the opportunity to express their frustrations, concerns, and ideas for resolution while avoiding the unnecessary financial and emotional drain that are hallmarks of divorce litigation. 

It is very common for courts to require parties to mediate their disputes before coming to a trial. Most divorce and custody cases are resolved without having to resort to the court, but mediation can help shorten the process.

What are the Benefits of Mediation?

One of the many benefits of mediation is that it is a safe place for parties to exchange information, discuss potential solutions and be creative, without worrying that what they say will be used against them later in the process. The mediation process is protected by the rules applicable to settlement negotiations and, therefore, cannot be used in future litigation.

Parties can be transparent about their needs and their goals in a way they cannot in an adversarial process. In mediation, everyone is striving for the same goal—resolution of the issues.

Luxury of Time

Mediation also offers parties the luxury of time to tell their story to a third party without being subject to the rules of evidence or courtroom procedures.

A significant part of the mediator’s job is to listen to parties and really hear their story. Hearing the party’s story helps the mediator understand what is most important to them, which can help the mediator generate creative ideas for resolution. A skilled mediator will hear not just what is said by the party, but also what is not said. It is often in understanding what is unsaid that the mediator is able to create a solution that works for both parties.

Shield Your Children From Conflict

Mediation can help parties shield their children from conflict because the parties have a designated place to discuss their differences, with a neutral person there to facilitate the discussion and ensure that it is productive. It also protects children by keeping the parents out of a stressful adversarial process. Anything that reduces the stress for parents going through a divorce or custody issue, will also reduce the stress of the children.

Cost-Effective and Efficient

Because the parties control the mediation process, they also control their investment of time and money in a way that will not happen if the parties are in litigation.

While there are some cases where mediation simply is not a viable solution, for the vast majority of people it is the least expensive and most efficient way to resolve their family disputes. There is a reason courts almost always require people to try mediation at least once—it really does help people reach a settlement.

Higher Satisfaction With the Outcome

Most importantly, people tend to be much more satisfied with a mediated solution than a court solution. Mediated solutions can be nuanced, flexible, and tailored to the individual family in a way that court solutions are not. If you are going to wind up in mediation one way or another, why not simply start there? It works.

For more information about mediations and other domestic relations issues, please contact Meg at (301) 841-2434 or mjmckinney@lerchearly.com.